Why Women Stay With A Habitual Cheater

VH1 has done it again. Twitter is in uproar over Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. Beyond the potential impact this has on women as whole, the main cause of uproar was the seemingly strong black woman brought to a puddle of tears over a man who proudly brought his side chick to the party. I guess it’s all fun and games until the hoe is taking shots with you at the booth. Then it’s real, embarrassing, and undeniable.

Although it was sad to watch, I recognized the man’s game as one that’s all too familiar in my life. He is living and keeping his main girlfriend stupid through ambiguity. His answers were never direct and included a lot of half-done explanation. Here’s a tip ladies – if you ask a man is he seeing someone else and he responds with anything other than “no” chances are he’s hiding something. Do not settle for the riddle and code. “You know I care about you” is also not a got damn answer to that question.

On the show, it seems  that the main girlfriend was well aware of this game and this was not her first run in with one of her man’s side chicks. But yet, she still stood outside the night club asking him “Are you fucking her?”

Obviously he was.

Why do women do this? Why are women constantly staying in situations where they know that the guy is not totally faithful yet they keep turning a blind eye until it truly cannot be ignored?

Self-esteem.

If you don’t know your worth and your value, chances are you’ll let someone convince you that you deserve chocolate covered bullshit instead of Godiva.

People make mistakes. Forgive them if you can. But repeated mistakes are just bad habits and can no longer be justified. When you allow a man to bring potential heartbreak and disease into your life by sharing his sex with any and every woman, it says much more about you than him.

If a man is doing something that hurts you, knowingly hurts you, and yet continues to do it he has a blatant disregard for your feelings. He also knows that you won’t leave. Somewhere along the line you have taught him through your threats to leave, but always returning, that everything he does is forgivable. Why change if there is no true consequence?

Think about it. We only go the speed limit on open highway for fear of being caught. When you decide to speed anyway, you’ve already resolved that you don’t care about the ticket, the danger involved, or who else you might hurt. You’ve been caught before and still have your license right? So why bother to change.

That is how a man who continues to cheat thinks about your relationship. Now it’s true that he “ain’t shit” but if you stay around, what does that really say about you?

As long as you continue to have excuses why you can’t stay gone even though he mistreats you, he will continue to have excuses why he mistreated you. It’s a never ending cycle.

What bothered me the most was her victim mentality. The main girlfriend walked around the parking lot in tears as he drove away with his side chick. But my sympathy only stretched so far. The look on her friend’s face told the story that they’d been in this situation before and all it was going to take was one sweet phone call for her to forgive and forget again.

You cannot play the victim if you keep walking in front of the bullets. Recognize that you have the power to set yourself free from situations that hurt you. Perpetual cheaters are a sticky situation to deal with because you want to forgive again and again. They usually know all the right things to make it seem as if it never happened and your interests are now in first place.

This will be a tough season to watch because no one wants to watch a woman embarrass herself trying to keep a man who doesn’t want to be kept.

Get some self esteem and KNOW that you can do better and deserve better. He manages to find other partners all the time. I’m SURE you can find a man who only wants to be with you. Instead of being number one you can be the only one. We all deserve that someday.

Do not accept the gold medal because “you stayed around the longest and put up with the most bullshit.” Be careful who you let pacify you into stupidity. Be the woman who is willing to love herself, instead of loving a man who hurts her.

Check out more from Dee Rene at laughcrycuss.com  Laugh. Cry. Cuss.