WHO YOU CALLING A HOE?

Now it seems that every time a woman has sex with more than one man she’s a hoe. There are all types of ridiculous rules such as “if you sleep with more than 3 people in a year you a hoe!” Excuse me? What if she just enjoys sex?

Women who are safe and sexually active are QUICKLY labeled a hoe because they enjoy sex for pleasure. No, it doesn’t work that way.

Let’s take your average, stereotypical hoe. When a man walks by, she somehow ends up naked. There’s no discretion. Whether he’s married, involved, crazy, employed or anything else that would keep a “good” woman away she is down to ride (pun intended). She’s always up for her next sexual conquest. Now, change that scenario from a woman seeking sexual conquest to a man doing the same. It’s a totally different story right? He’s out just being a man and that’s perfectly acceptable. I understand we live in a world of double standards, but this is also why I don’t believe in calling a woman a hoe simply because she enjoys sex.

It’s obvious there is a clear misunderstanding of what a hoe is and what a hoe is not. Most would say a hoe is a woman who is sexing anyone with a pulse.

However, the word hoe, slang for whore, is defined by Webster as a prostitute. As in a woman who sleeps with men for money. Along the way we have manipulated not just the word but also the definition. We’ve changed the word to help keep the double standard in place and women sexually oppressed.

The emphasis is not on the number of partners but on having sex in hopes to GAIN something.

Thus, in my opinion, being a hoe is a MINDSET.

The sex you are having becomes hoe-sex when your mindset switches from an act of pleasure to an act of profit. Anyone who is sleeping with someone to GAIN anything – finances, prestige, love- is a hoe. Whenever you use what’s between your legs to get you something that you don’t already have, you are prostituting (sex for profit) and by definition – a hoe.

I argue that a woman who is sleeping with multiple men is only a true hoe if she’s sleeping with the men to gain something more than pleasure. This also means that you can sleep with one man and be a hoe if you are only sleeping with him to gain his popularity, love, or money. And yes, sex to win his love is included. I know that’s a tough pill to swallow but anytime sex is the means to the end (sans procreation) instead of just an act you enjoy, you my dear friend, are participating in hoe activities.

Tough break.

Double standard be damned. For the women who enjoy sex and are tired of being called a hoe, let me assure you that you are simply human. Just be safe out there. My motto is always enjoy the sex, just don’t be a hoe about it. Always check your mindset so that you are not an unintentional hoe. Be careful that you aren’t lying to yourself about having glorious standards because your number of partners is so low but yet every time you do have sex it’s to gain something from that partner – even love. It’s all about self-awareness, respect, and being true to self. You can enjoy sex, have lots of it, and not be hoe as long as you don’t have a hoe’s mindset about it.

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