Single and Childless: Are You Cursed?
I log onto Facebook and someone else is engaged, married, or just pushed a bouncing bundle of bills out of their cooch chute.
Is anybody single anymore?
Our society has made the single and childless woman the modern day leper. The idea is that if you have all of these great qualities, surely someone should have chosen you by now to be the mother of their child, or wife, or both. If you haven’t been chosen, surely that indicates some inherent character flaw like being “crazy.”
Single women without children of a certain age are not cursed nor are they crazy. Lonely is the other popular label. Single and lonely are not synonyms. Alone and lonely are not synonyms either. We must stop treating women like incomplete humans if they are single and childless. Perhaps it was lack of opportunity or maybe it’s just not a priority. To each her own.
But why is that so hard to accept?
Perhaps it’s hard to imagine that any healthy-able-bodied woman would NOT want to have children but it’s true. Being a mother is a great joy and responsibility. But there are actually some women out there who would rather be an amazing auntie than a mother. Or that she would rather wait until she’s married.
It’s time we discuss a simple truth – womanhood is not tied to matrimony or mommyhood. Womanhood is knowing thyself and approving of thyself. If you are alright with your life choices, don’t let any person belittle your accomplishments by pointing out the two things you have yet to accomplish.
We also put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Social networks like Facebook remind you every time you log on that “everyone” is out there getting married and having babies. Look at it like this – if you hold a dime up to your eye it seems like the biggest thing in the world and can block out the light. That’s what happens when you focus too much on what you don’t have going on in life vs the great things you do have going on. When you start peppering your circle with more people who are on the same life path (and logging off for a little while) you will start to see how normal you really are.
Women who are older, unmarried, and childless aren’t cursed. Your worth isn’t tied to any of those things. You define your worth. Not society and not their assembly line that dictates what you should be doing at a certain age and damns you to single-girl hell if you haven’t checked everything off the list by that time.
One day society will realize there is more to being a woman than a ring finger or a womb, but until then…you just keep enjoying the life you’ve defined. The life you are meant to
I know yall missed Dee Rene, make sure you Follow her on Twitter @DeeRene_LCC
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