I took everything out and sat it confidently on the curb. Even the sweatshirt I LOVED to sleep in that smelled like him. I put it all out there to be picked up like old take-out boxes by the garbage man.
My chest tightened up as I climbed the stairs back to my apartment. Whatever confidence I had that I would survive once I took his belongings outside began to melt and expose a heart that was dying inside. I collapsed right there in the doorway and cried. My relationship was really over.
Have you ever been there? The place where heartbreak and reality meet. It’s not a dream and you just know in your heart it’s never coming back.
Broken hearts are chances to start over. In order to repair a dislocated finger, you must often have a medical professional jam it back into place. That jamming brings immense pain and you will still need to be bandaged and held together for a few weeks after that. However, if you don’t go through that pain, you could lose your entire finger or permanently damage any movement you may have in the future.
This is how we should embrace our heartbreaks.
Sometime today say it out loud – say ‘my relationship is over.’ Grieve that relationship like a loved one buried in the ground. Allow yourself to feel any and all of those emotions be they anger, sadness, or confusion. Let it all out over a day or even a week.
Life has a funny way of showing you that all the things you cry about in this moment, won’t matter a year from now. Unless this is your first time, always remember that you’ve been heartbroken before and lived to tell about it.
One thing I discovered in my heartbreaks is that there is ALWAYS a reason why things turned out the way they did. The more time I spent trying to figure out the lessons, rather than placing blame, the stronger I felt to be okay moving on from the situation.
Let go of finding a reason why. We often want to pin point an exact reason and the events leading up to it – driving ourselves crazy with replaying scenarios and conversations again and again.
I encourage you trust the heartbreak. Trust that the heart ache you are going through is only preparing you to love better and BE loved better in the future.
Looking back, there are one or two men from my past that I never imagined my life without them. And suddenly they weren’t there anymore. No, however, I can see that losing that person broke my spirit in such a way that I was FORCED to rebuild. I was forced to look back and break some old habits and most importantly, I had to stop and understand what real love was. By the time I was ready to love again I avoided the same mistakes and found the next relationship to be even better than the last.
Trust the heartbreak by saying, “if I never went through that, I’d never have been ready for whoever is coming into my future.”
So while you are deep in Adele music, ice cream, or trying to party all the pain away, understand it’s only temporary. Heartbreak won’t last forever but the lessons you learn from it – will. And that is truly what matters.
More From Dee Rene at Laugh Cry Cuss
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