OMG… When I reflect on the people I’ve dated I get a good laugh especially with one in particular. We as women when we first start dating a guy our minds tend to think ahead and get excited of what’s to come, especially in the bedroom… (Well I can speak for myself) I know what “Steve Harvey” says about the 90 day rule, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t wait that long when he was cheating on his first wife with his current one.
Our dating history can have some high points, from the outfits we’ve considered to even just a the bullshit we now realize we’ve put up with for far too long. What’s probably even harder than dating is having a relationship, because by the time you land someone you think is worthy of your time and love it’s time to put in the extra effort to make it work. Which for me is hard and my attention span is very short, I tend to get the lazy men, that come off as confident swear they are the tea, but falls so short of the glory once I get to know them and we make it official.
It’s really horrible that the man that you once found attractive and sexy, isn’t looking that way anymore. Especially if they’re bad in bed. I’m not sure if it was his lack of interest in what I wanted or just simple laziness, but it just wasn’t good. This one guy who was my boyfriend at the time.. First of all my instinct told me to not take it there, but I went against my better judgment.. He was a good guy we did everything together, but when it came to the sex I was always pissed. He always had an orgasm so fast. It’s like as soon as I get into it **BAM**** He is finished….You remember in the movie The Wood when a Young Omar Epps was having sex with Melinda Williams and he had an Orgasm without being inside for more than two minutes? I gave him chance after chance to redeem himself, but he always fell short of the glory, didn’t put enough effort, even after I told him. I’ll never forget, I sat him down one day and just broke it down… He asked what was wrong, and I got quiet for a minute…. Then I said to him, look Your not good in bed at all.. You come to quick….
He paused for a minute with a look of disbelief and blurted out, “well this is the first time I’m hearing this” and I looked at him and said “Well there is a first time for everything” then he proceeds to tell me that he deals with superstars and they never said anything to him like that… So I looked at him and told him “Well, where are all these so called superstars now, and why are you not with them?” He was like it wasn’t his fault that I had a high sex drive. He then shut his mouth and stormed out. Needless to say we tried to make it work, but he still wasn’t trying to change.. I ended up leaving him and don’t have one regret for doing so. It’s funny he hit me up the other day too..
So, if your partner isn’t so great in bed, you need to speak up. YOU HAVE TO FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR SANITY! You just need to do it in such a way that you don’t ruin your relationship in process. If nothing still doesn’t change then cut your ties, instead of staying and being miserable. I have so many other stories, but I plead the fifth…
1. Don’t Make a Big Deal
If you go into the chat leading with “we need to talk,” then you’re setting yourself up for drama. “We need to talk” is the last thing anyone wants to hear ever, so leave that line out.
Example: “Hey, Brian Baby, this weather is awesome… do you think our foreplay could last a little longer?” Catch him off guard
2. Choose a Good Time To Drop The Bomb
Don’t bring up where your sex life is lacking over lunch or dinner. Instead, address it right after your romp, because your brain is in sex mode anyway.
3. Use porn to demonstrate
I am an advocate for this, because I do love porn just a tad, it’s an easy and polite way to explain what you’re looking for in the bedroom is with porn. Even if porn isn’t part of your sex life, it’s a great way to show your partner some ideas.
4. Share your masturbation technique
A lot of people get off watching their partners masturbate. If your partner needs more direction than just porn, then show them how you do things to yourself.
5. Experiment With Sex
Sometimes bad sex isn’t about technique, and more about boredom. If that’s obviously the case, then it’s time to try something new. Empty your hats and push your sexual limits. Have fun with each other.
6. Give Positive Feedback
You don’t want to constantly remind your partner that things are getting better than they were before, you should definitely give some positive feedback.
7. Be His Sexual Cheerleader
Lots of vocal support of what your feeling that he doing right down there and while in the act is really important to keep things moving in the right direction.